A moment of doubt Oct. 8, 2012

  

I got to the staff meeting late but in time to hear her giving her list of stories for the week, sputtering as I entered the room and took my place at the table, losing track of what she was saying so repeating herself when I settled in across from her.

Eventually, with a lot of help from the other owner (the male owner again was not around), she got back on track, at one point, spouting, “I don’t hate me, only some men,” staring right at me when she did.

What prompted this is beyond me since I never once accused her of hating men.

From all this I got the impression she may have changed her mind about quitting, perhaps refusing to allow other people to force her to quit.

It is actually a stupid move for her to quit since she already has gotten everything she wants, except maybe a livable wage. Frankly, she has too much to lose by quitting and has a number of allies in our office that would take her side if she chose to resist.

Yet, she and I both know if she stays the war between us will go on because she will always see me as a potential threat, even if I was to concede victory to her. Soon or later, she would need to come after me again. I’m already too vulnerable and easy prey.

I hate the idea of giving in. But I have no real option. To this point, I have kept a very low profile, making sure I left no visible trail, keeping my sources to myself. I can’t risk doing anything more. If she decides to brave it out, then ultimately, I’m doomed.

The keep thinking about the missing 11th hour in that poem she posted at the end of the summer, and how much she seems to live up to the Biblical version of it, how she always shows up at the 11th hour and expects to trickle quickly to the top of the totem pole, regardless of where she works.

So, is this talk about the meeting a bit of bravado? It is odd that the other owner isn’t here again, the man who read her the riot act, and asked her to “do the right thing.”

And if she quit, why is she still here?

 

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