Without apology July 8, 2012

  

At first glance, the poem she posted today strongly resembles in theme one she wrote about when observing the outlandishly dressed woman from a few days ago.

The difference, however, is highly important in that this poem is much more direct.

This poem is almost like a confession, but also a defense of who she is and what she does, without apology.

And while she does not mention accusations made against her, they are strongly implied.

The poem opens with the desire for a peaceful place, “soft and cool, and low.” Where the sound of water helps sooth raw nerves in what could be construe as “fear” yet is not.

She describes these feelings, these “scraped nerves” as the result of living on the edge, in that zone between what other people call normal and what she describes as “right for me.”

She takes comfort in the idea that what she is, what she does and what she has done is “right and true.”

There is a huge gap between this poem’s claims and a poem earlier which described tales about her as “gossip” or fabricated.

She is setting the record straight, saying whatever path her footsteps take or have taken, whatever acts she performs or has performed, are all part of who she is and to do it any other way would be unnatural for her.

This in some ways echoes a poem she had posted at one point and later removed in which she admits to “trickling up,” behavior some others might not see as “right” or “true.”

She is clearly saying these things are right and true for her.

While not quite as strident, the poem comes across as a declaration of independence with the underlying notion that she does what she does because she feels that is who she is, and what is right for her to do.

By implication, this harkens back to another one of her poems and throwing the first stone, and asks without asking, what right have other people to judge her regardless of what she does or will do.

This creates a certain moral ambiguity in that it suggests as the Bible sometimes does that nobody has the right to judge anybody else, leaving that to God, and alluding to the often over used metaphor about walking in another man’s (or woman’s) shoes.

The poet clearly feels wounded, angry as well, and perhaps – even though she denies it in this poem – afraid, seeking to find a way to heal herself and yet not bend to the implied accusations.

She attributes her wounds like to fear by to wear and tear of living life on the edge, admitting she does not live a life of “norm,” again defending herself by claiming she is being true to herself.

She takes comfort in the healing waters of knowing what she is, does or will be, is right and true.

 

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