Isolated and furious July 21, 2012

  

As I wrote earlier, her poem “Forgiveness” pretty much said it all: Okay, you’re forgiven, go away and don’t bother me.”

What should have sounded like a reasonable request came off as arrogant since there were no innocents in the parade, and she has yet to admit culpability to her part in all this, while I did my best to admit mine, only to have my own words used against me.

Here, she dismissed me as if I was a guilty child.

I suspect Mary Ann, my poet friend out west, may be right in that this is all about control.

For the most part, I have gone away as commanded, except at work where interaction is unavoidable, and even there, this attitude of superiority taints things – such as when she lied (but she doesn’t lie she says) about contacts I needed for a story.

Mary Ann thinks she wants to control what I put up on my personal website – at least in regard to things about her. She apparently stopped looking at my site for those few days when I posted only innocuous things clearly not remotely having anything to do with her.

Mary Ann suggested the shut down in order to let things cool down. But I tend to have a knee jerk reaction and can still feel the steam coming out of my hears over her forgiveness poem.

Mary Ann said I should post some of the writings about a past that has nothing to do with her and so may cause her to cease looking at my website in the future when I can once more write and post how I legitimately feel.

“Give it a break,” Mary Ann said.

Yet it is clear that the situation will not resolve itself until one or the other of us leaves the company. Even with me exiled in the auxiliary office, I am likely a danger to her and she to me.

I don’t think she feels she can operate as she has in the past in other places with someone like me hovering around, lingering in the shadows, capable of spoiling things just when she has set things up the way she wants.

With the exception of Mary Ann and other friends unrelated to the company, I have nobody to confide in, least of all the former temporary boss, who may still be a confidant of hers.

I feel isolated, and perhaps that’s what she intends.


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