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Who is she?

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    Written early 2012   (This is from my poetry notebook and must have been written prior to April 2012. I’m not sure. I don’t date poetry notes. I tend to write descriptions of things as warm up for an eventual poem. This must have been a first impression, although I worked for some months with her. This, I wrote, but never went on to write the poem Why I never posted it is beyond me.)   She stands out, even in a crowd, even when she doesn’t want to, not too tall for a girl, not too skinny either, her dark hair framing a slightly tilted face and dark intense eyes that make you wonder what she is thinking when she looks at you, what exactly she sees, and how exactly she sizes you up – her blouse often open one button too far and would draw your attention if you could drag your stare away from her eyes. You might divert your gaze to her mouth, full yet tilted lips that change color day to day like a mood ring with no shade of lipstick predictable enough for you to read, lip
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Tiger in the night March 15, 2013

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   She posted her second positive poem in a row, alluding to what she once claimed was here favorite poet. William Blake In referencing one of the most iconic poems in English literature, she is making a powerful statement on the nature of good and evil. In his poem, Blake is questioning the wisdom of God in much the same way Job did in the Bible, asking how the same hand that made the sheep also make something as dangerous and evil as the tiger. At the same time, Blake admires the potency and power of the tiger, an alluring symbol of strength. In her poem, she draws on this same potent image of the tiger, creeping into her life at night “that carries me with all its might,” full of fear, terror and yet a sense of incredible strength. It is easy to read into her poem the comparison between the tiger and her ambition, and the flame that – even in her most pessimistic outlook – cannot be or has not yet been extinguished, and even in the deepest dark of night, she still catche
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When to leap off this sinking ship March 14, 2013

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  Everything comes in ebbs and flows, even for her, who so desperately needed an ego boost and apparently got what she needed. As the smallest and most insignificant fish in a pool full of sharks, she seems to be constantly looking for a way to stand out, and did this week, though the question remains how she can maintain it. She seems to have come back to where she started and may well account for the positive shift in tone in her most recent poems. Her recent successes have allowed her apparently to begin building a network of powerful men and women from whom she might be able to draw on for a rebirth. This is far different from her days in the past when she depended on the good will of others. While her current gig may have started out with the Virgin Mayor feeling sorry for her, she seems determined to make it into something all her own, a power base that won’t depends on RR or his mirror image The Private Detective in the town next door. Some of the players she brought t
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Soap opera derby March 13, 2013

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  Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, our office falls to pieces. But I’m out of the line of fire for the moment, “D” confirmed that she set up and ran the international women’s day event, though D also made it clear how out of touch the Virgin Mayor – from remarks he made at the event. She seems to be in control of the situation at the moment, although I suspect she isn’t gloating about it, feeling a bit less sure of herself than she might make out. She’s still lot in the same league as the mayor’s criminal elite, and this gathering of angels may be a good start towards building her own credibility, she may have to do something more in line with politics for them to take her seriously. Meanwhile, our male owner had gone off on vacation again, refusing to tell anyone where he went or who he went with, and he won’t let anyone contact him while he’s away. I suspect he doesn’t want to piss off the staff by informing us about his latest elaborate trip. He underpays ev
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A crowning achievement March 12, 2013

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   D – her replacement in our office – was very impressed by the international women’s day event she put on, something she apparently convinced the Virgin Mayor to allow her to do, and which put her in touch with a number of the most powerful political women in the town if not the county. After weeks of wondering how she was going to justify her appointment, she came out with a very impressive effort, something she needed to do to quiet the whispering critics in townhall who had wondered what exactly she was doing for the money she earned. D is quite taken with her, and praised her event not just in print, but in private as well, telling me how well she had done in pulling it off. This fits the pattern – in which she starts off with a bang, even if it took a few weeks for her to get her wheels in motion. She needed to establish herself as a viable power player, needed to stand out from the crowd, and needed to impress the all-boys network by establishing a power base of her o
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Musical chairs February 28, 2013

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  (At some point during all of the craziness, I started a parallel journal that depicts the activities that went on during at the office – with the ultimate goal of doing a book my time there. I won’t retrace steps and post the second journal prior to this but pick up the second thread here – to sort of give a backdrop to the overall insanity).   With (A’s) leaving, another place becomes vacant at the table and the scapegoating starts in Management’s desperation to find someone responsible other than those who are actually responsible, namely themselves. So far, the angel of death has passed over me. But these days, the two owners have found a new scheme for scapegoating, looking at the other writer working the north county beat who they claim is a piss poor writer and needs a lot of editing. But she appears to me to do a pretty good job covering her beat – and now she’s being asked to cover three towns, when in the past we used to have one writer for each town – although this
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Always has her back March 10, 2013

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      (This is the second analysis of the same poem – more detailed about who she is writing the poem for)   When everybody else lets her down, when her whole world falls to pieces, she goes back home to her longest friend, something she grew up with, went to school with, and someone she has come to rely on through thick and thin. He is someone she graduated high school with and went to visit him in Philadelphia last fall when things fell apart at our company. Her latest poem appears to have been written to him, and her seeing him again over the last few days suggests she may once more be in a crisis (something her other recent poems have not suggested).   The two of them got together over the weekend for a chat over Chinese food. The love in this poem is unmistakable and it is clear from frequent viewings of his videos and her trips to see him that she clearly trusts him above all other men in her life. She has never let him down the way other men have. They have much
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