Cold war of silence Aug. 15, 2012

 

I have no clue as to what she is up to, seeing her only once a week at the meeting in the main office and reading the poems she posts less and less frequently.

Her last two poems, I believe, have nothing to do with me, which is a relieve considering that so many of those prior to that did.

Because we work for the same company, she can’t quite slam the door the way she has in the past with her lovers turned stalkers – although even in those cases, she doesn’t seem to give up one stalker until she has someone to replace him or her.

She always needs someone to be protected from.

While she maintains a fictional façade of strength, she is incredibly vulnerable, a fact I didn’t realize until recently.

She also seems extremely conflicted, declaring she won’t forgive me in one poem, and then after my surrender to her, posts two poems that might be taken as kind.

Last week, she wrote a nostalgic poem about her past and present that clearly did not involve me.

Since I have not commented on any of her poems (or posted a poetic response) in more than three weeks, nor have I emailed or texted her since being read the riot act after her birthday, her poem posted Sunday into Monday seemed to indicate troubles that had nothing to do with me.

Perhaps she misread a poem I posted on my blog, thinking it had to do with her when it did not, and would explain the coolness with which she greeted me yesterday.

Again, I am struck by how unhappy she seems despite the fact she has a new boyfriend.

If not for what Tom told me about RR, I might think she invented the boyfriend as a character in order to seem better protected than she really is.

What about the personal phone call she rushed out of the meeting to take yesterday?

I would think she might be content with the cold war of silence we have developed between us, which I assume how it will be from now on –nothing personal, not even professional, just co-existence, her threat like a door stop keeping the door closed just enough for her to feel safe. My sole defense is to simply ignore her.


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