A D Journal 2012

    Her text came as always with a demand: “Call me now!” The voice mail message was much more confusing: “I never said anything to him. What the fuck did you say to him?” I texted her back: “I’m at the vet. I call you when I’m done.” I wanted to stall for time. As it was, I had scheduled a meeting with the male owner to talk about my possibly coming back to the main office and working one of the beats that had opened up there, an idea I realized too late my email to her had ruined. I do stupid things for stupid reasons. A month after throwing myself under her bus, I still haven’t learned not to, and still tended to blame her. I still feel hurt by how easily she trickled up, and still believe our former temporary boss lied to me about her, though in truth, there is no way to tell if he did or not, though I fully understand why he would need to maintain the fiction even with me. I can’t get over the look of panic in his eyes when he finally heard what I had to say in the

    There is more than a little significance that for the poem she posted on June 26, we return to the roof, a place that seems to play a large role in mythology of her life. People go back to such places because they signify something important in their lives, sometimes they are protective places, sometimes, they are kind of places where we face our own morality. This is a poem that evokes powerful spirits, both threatening and protective, with her caught in the middle of them, invisible at times, perhaps even with feelings of insignificance. She is looking out at the world from this lofty place in an almost dream scape where the elements take on larger than life proportions. The most important elements in this poem are the tree, the sun and the shadows cast. These spirits are created by the interaction of the very powerful sun and the tree. The sun is mostly seen as a god-like force in mythology, often male, and as often, the tree is seen as female, and so we have a creat